I'm sorry, this post might be a little bitchy but I don't wanna suppress anything inside me anymore. You don't know how hard it is to feel like this. It's gonna be super wordy, don't bother to read it if you don't wish to.
Fuck my mom ttm. Fucking retarded.
Although she's been with me for long, longer than anyone could, but I still fucking hate her.
Today, she bought a purplish-pink flower-ish (-.-) wrapping paper to cover a mirror and made it into a notice board for me to write notes for her.
She intended to buy a sofa for my study table so that my tuition teachers can have a comfortable sitting position to teach me.
Before you think that she's considerate, sweet and all, think twice.
She fucking scolded me for asking my tuition teacher to come down tomorrow and coach me for this coming week's test when all along she was the one who planned my tuition schedule and insisted on me having tuition thrice a week.
She said that if I failed to do so, she'll confiscate my laptop, and now ?!?! She's scolding me for asking extra help during the school holidays.
She fucking told me she don't understand the word pissed and questioned me why was I pissed. She told me she had depression and to treat my classmates well when all along she advised me not to make friends. She also tell me that she isn't committing a crime by apologizing to me when I commented that she's irritating me and that said that if sorryies had cure, there wouldn't be police in a jokingly matter. Walao, she totally have no sense of humor one sia.
She even had to fucking call my friends to ensure that I'm not lying. She calls my form teacher to make sure I don't pon school.
I FUCKING HATE THIS KIND OF POSSESSIVE MOTHER. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I'M FUCKING 15YEARS OLD. AND SHE HAD A FUCKING CHOICE TO RAISE ME UP OR NOT, UNLIKE OTHER CHILDREN. FUCKING BITCH.
She wants my tutor to be her godson. She wants to open a childcare center. She treats my neighbors and her own students way better than me.
I seriously cannot tolerate this shit anymore laaaaah.
I know I should be respecting her since she's my mother afterall. But you know something? She's even more kaopei and guailan than me.
看你那布超级白.
I SERIOUSLY HOPE MY MOTHER WILL STOP SPOILING MY DAYS.
Fuck. I don't see how my anger management is improving as what Ms Lee commented in my report book.
I sort of diao Ms Farah and Mrs Bong, whacked Ziqin and threw my bloody phone against the wall until the insides chipped -.- Haha.
Its like a repeat of 2008, only better. Last year, my whole sceen cracked after it hit the wall.
Desmond's right. A lot of things I do are simply unimaggineable. Its something like no one would believe me unless they see it with their own eyes.
Example :
I broke Sherrie's tooth, causing her to have a root canal.
I anyhow throw a marker at Ziqin and it stood vertically up on his thigh, 1 week injury.
I make both guys and girls cry because I sort of hurt their pride and dignity?
I am a chorlor and vicious girl who stings people with my looks and the first impression I gave Sherrie was a nerd, a mugger when in actual fact, I play alot.
My own number called my phone. Ya, you might think how's that possible. But I swear I'm not lying. When I received a call today, it showed my hp number. Later after that came 2 unknown numbers, not private ah. You might think its a prank, but how the fuck izit possible to receive a call from your own number?
Also, there was once I woke up in the middle of the night and heard people partying and speaking in Malay over the phone at like 2am? I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't sleeping. I left the phone there, woke up an hour later and I could still hear IT. Immediately kupped the phone.
Harhar.
Many other stuffs la.
OKAY, END OF RANT :\ I KNOW I TALK A LOT OF COCK BUT I REALLY FELT LIKE VENTING ALL MY FRUSTRATIONS OUT.
带着昨天的悲伤
Sunday, November 8, 2009 7:32 PM
带着昨天的悲伤 I don't know if I should be pissed or to cry. Whatever fuck la k. Hopefully I can get over it. Why wouldn't things just get back the same like before? Is it so hard for me to get back that bond that I felt we've shared for so many years? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, SHEENA. Tears, doubt and everything depressing, these were the ingredients to create your not so perfect Sheena. I know I'm full of insecurities but you don't show me that I can trust you, somehow. I feel so fucking dumb as to get (whatever feelings) over these kind of nonsensical stuffs. Its total bullshit. WAKEUP YOU BEETCH. But I tell you, you won't know how it feels like. Last night was a perfect example.
Some things, however, are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out, and a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened, can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back. — Alice Hoffman, Blue Diary
I don't want to give up. I'm just exasperated. I just need more time to analyze the problem. Time and more time, is getting on very slow.
In addition, I seriously hope my mother will stop pmsing and spoiling my days. Fuck, she's just adding on to my fuckedup days time after time. I SERIOUSLY NEED SOME TIME ALONE.
--
Went to find Desmond & his friend whom I shall name as A to get our skateboards today. Initially wasn't planning to but ya, I stoned till like 6am before finally deciding. That fag thought I woke up especially at 6am just to ask him that, sot.
mine, A's, desmond's.
I wanted the purplish-black back2back deck, the one that Desmond took :( But then decided on another one because I didn't want to own the same one as him. Ahahaha, satisfied with my one tho. Its not guailan okayyyy, Desmond. And since you said I like guailan designs, you like my design, = you guailan :D Nice logic? Think A's one quite cute. Sesame Street. AHAHAHA.
Went Pasir Ris park to playplay. K la, very noob but fun :) We ended up sitting on the deck and pushing ourselves, like how people would usually push their wheelchairs with their hands, spells fun okay :)
Know we're retarded but who cares, what matters the most was we enjoyed ourselves doing something cool and I managed to finally not waste my weekends.
P.S. I'm glad there wasn't any extra brain capacity for me to have my mind drifting off to another world.
entertainment deprived .
Saturday, November 7, 2009 9:39 PM
this is entertainment to me. HAHAHAHA.
any choir peeps care to take on this challenge ? (looks at the girl who doesn't wish to quit singing)
people say you can't live without love... i think oxygen is more important... (by the5thletteroftheenglishalphabet)
HAHAHA. joke. ANW, I'M FUCKING BORED.
One of my neighbors has been recently diagnosed with Acute Lymphatic Leukemia, a type of cancer. He is 7 years old. His classmates held a hair cutting party for him so he wouldn’t have to go through losing his hair alone. Bald 7-year-olds GMH.
I found another entertainment website. http://www.givesmehope.com/ Like FML but for optimist ! HAHAHA.
so there's FML, GMH & FAILBLOG to keep me entertained happyhappy !! LOLOLOL -.-
i am emotionally retarded .
Thursday, November 5, 2009 10:19 PM
i'm an easy girl to love, but the hardest person to keep loving. i never know what i want because i don't know what i want. sometimes i feel like my lil' heart is gna burst anytime. no shame in being afraid, got to figure out what i'm afraid off -.- just close my eyes and pretend its all a bad dream. smile, and let everyone else know that i'll always be a lot stronger and better than the day before for tomorrow is a better day ! :)
--
one more week of ALPs, screams and shouts WHOOOOO. kkk, retarded i know -.- .
tea appreciation yesterday. sucked a hell effin' lawt. especially when miss lee got me & sp to stay back and clean up. like, whatthefhuck, also no need shout our names so loud right. got other class there also ley, nabey. oh and the china people there super kaopei sia.
i admire the guy who tore his toilet down :D my idol \m/
ice cream cream puff and 茶叶蛋 were the only highlights of the day. oh and the incident of me tearing their drawing by accident while playing with desmond and bitch fighting with ziqin. in short, I WAS THE MAIN PERSON THERE WHO CREATED HAVOC. whoops :x proud of it tho, hahaha!
stayed back after schl to film SS project. got a few bloopers but heck, just combined all.
I feel the best when I'm with you .
Tuesday, November 3, 2009 12:00 AM
Baby, special post for you okay!
Happy one monthsary. One month seems like one year aye.
Its been 2years, 5mths and 2 days since I know you. Time flies, doesn't it ?
Don't know why you're so addictive. You're just so hard to leave, impossible to forget.
We knew each other through Benkor & Luciferkor.
From strangers to kor&mei, kor&mei to ahma&sunnu. ahma&sunnu to doctor&patient(?) doctor&patient to friends. friends to strangers again. strangers to master&dog (LOL) master&dog to bearson&bearnaa.
and finally now, each other's baby.
To have the both of us falling in love with each other twice, first not being together but still did in the end, is probably something that has a probability of only 0.000000001% .
After all, we met each other through the virtual world. Nothing in common back then. But still, standing strong. Miracle aye?
I mean like, hellya. How many people in this universe would be like us? Both you and I thought it was rather impossible for us to be together. But well, we still did :) 我们做到了 !
Never regretted knowing you. Though I did regretted not listening to you last time and be more opened. Sorry laaa, my bad back then, okai. Perhaps if I'd went to find you at bunk earlier, all these shit wouldn't have happened ._. But 都已经是过去了, nvm la hor. 最重要 is we're together now :)
We didn't meet each other during that 2 years yo. Until like 752 days later after knowing you? Ya, I stupidly went to count :p Cute not, your laopo ;lala . LOLOLOLOLOL.
Thanks for everything ah, like seriously. And in case you don't know, you changed me quite a bit ._. Its kind of weird to think how life would be if I never met you.
Think you were seriously damn dumb to spam me with sorries when you thought you made me cry, awww :x Friendster, sms, email all also 给你 spam 到 siao :x
Stupidly cute.
Argh ;wild. Time, fly, just fly, just for a little while longer and faster . I just fucking miss you :'(
Bi ah, if that thing ever happens again, It'll be remembered, for so much more.
You wouldn't want that, right ... ? Sooo ... Really hope the both of us will cherish this relationship of ours nao. We got pulled together by this strong invisible string, nao we're chained to each others heart. Don't bother searching for the keys because I threw them away. Aha! You're mine! :p
We'll never drift okay. Shit will happen. But you told me to trust you they won't. Or at the very least, you'll try to solve it. So ya, ;wild !
Promise me. AND NO, PROMISES AREN'T MEANT TO BE BROKEN. Take note k.
